5 Ways To Encourage Your Kids Published by Ruth on January 27, 2013.

Posted: August 7, 2013 in Uncategorized

No one wakes up saying,

“I hope to fluster my children today and make them feel inadequate.”  

or, “I will allow my kids to determine the way I speak to them. I will decide what tone of voice to use based on whether they are compliant and well-behaved.”

Of course we don’t think that way! And yet, that is what we often communicate in a day’s time.

We’ve had some challenging days around here. There have been long hours poring over math problems, hard moments in relationships, quiet periods of soul-searching, fervent times of prayer, and determined strides made towards recovering from this remodeling chaos we are so grateful for, but so weary from. Challenging circumstances and stretching situations in life may be the context of your current discouragement, but simply cannot stand as excuses for discouraging your children.  We have a choice. As Moses said in Psalm 90, “the best of our days are but trouble and sorrow…”

We can’t wait for life to get easier to look honestly at whether we are an encouragement or discouragement to children.

I recently asked my kids to tell me what things I have done that discourage them. I humbly share some of their insights…

Ways I’ve discouraged my kids:

  • Roll my eyes.
  • Repeat myself over and over with a condescending voice.
  • Cut my children off when they attempt to speak.
  • Complain about my kids to others.
  • Be quick to point out faults.

Not discouraging our children is about us, not about our children’s behavior; it is about changing ourselves as mothers. It is not so much a matter of what we say but the attitude in which we say it. Because none of us purpose to be a discouraging mother at the start of the day, choosing not to be is one of intentionality and purposing to BE ENCOURAGING.

Conversely, here are 5 simple ways I can encourage my kids:


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